Reluctant Desire Read online

  With trembling hands, Charity grabbed clumsily for him as the swell of pleasure peaked, and slowly began to ebb, a sigh escaping when he lifted his head and moved up her body to hold her again.

  “Hmm. The cherry tastes good, but not nearly as good as you. See, once is never enough, and I haven’t even gotten inside you yet.”

  Burying her face against his shoulder, she breathed in his scent and giggled at his playful tone, still trembling with pleasure. “Bragging, Beau?”

  “Just stating facts, ma’am.”

  Another giggle burst free, and then another when he nuzzled a ticklish spot on her neck before sitting up. Watching in fascination as he rolled on a condom, she reached out to caress his chest. “You’re so conceited. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

  She couldn’t tear her gaze away from his cock, still a little amazed at the size of it, and that something that long and thick could feel so good inside her.

  Beau tapped her chin, lifting her gaze to his. “Because I make you feel good.” Moving over her again, he used his knees to push her legs wider, the frustration and emotion in his eyes disconcerting her. “And because you love me—even if you won’t admit it.”

  Reeling with the knowledge that he knew, Charity gasped, and gasped again as he surged deep, her pussy clamping down on him as soon as he entered her. Digging her heels into his tight butt, she gripped his shoulders, stunned when he began to move right away, instead of pausing to let her adjust to him.

  She was glad he did. She closed her eyes, unable to face him, not knowing what she could say. Unable to keep from looking at him, she opened her eyes again, struck by the gleam in his hooded gaze.

  Braced on his arms, he stared down at her, his quick, shallow thrusts so unlike him, it alarmed her. “I’ll. Give. You. All. The. Pleasure. You. Want.”

  He took her hard and fast, filling her with every thrust, the friction on her inner walls making her wild with pleasure. With one hand under her back, he arched her high, bending his head to take a nipple into his mouth. His other hand slid beneath her bottom, lifting her into his thrusts and surging even deeper. “As long as you keep coming back for more, I’ll give you everything you need. Just. Keep. Coming. Back.”

  She couldn’t seem to catch up, the pleasure so intense that she could only hang on to his shoulders and go for the ride. Her legs, too weak to hold on to him, fell to the sides, leaving her spread wide.

  Thrilled and humbled at the need in his voice, Charity gripped him tighter. “Beau! Oh, God, Beau! Yes. Yes.”

  Their usually playful lovemaking turned primitive.

  Wild.

  Sweaty and hot.

  Harsh groans and growls came from somewhere deep inside him, washing over her and adding to the decadent atmosphere.

  Love for him made everything even more intense. Every brush of his body against hers, every breath he took, every soft murmur of approval and groan coming from him even sharper than ever.

  Releasing her nipple, he lifted his head and stared down at her, slowing his thrusts, and digging at a sensitive spot inside her. With a groan, he shuddered. “Hmm, I love how your sweet little pussy grabs at me, cher. It makes me insane to know how your tight little bottom would grip me.” Sliding the hand under her lower, Beau slid a finger over her puckered opening.

  Stunned at his wickedness and at the animalistic surge of hunger for more decadence, Charity gasped, bucking her hips. “No, Beau. You can’t!”

  She could only imagine how intimate it would be to have him take her that way, and how much deeper she’d fall in love with him if she let the intimacy between them grow.

  Fisting her hands in the bedding, she shook uncontrollably, holding on to the only solid thing in her world.

  Beau.

  Scraping his teeth over her neck, Beau growled. “One day I will. One day you’re going to give me your virginity here, too.”

  Digging her heels into his bottom again, Charity bucked against him, crying out when her movements forced the tip of his finger inside her.

  Crying out, she stiffened, arching against him, embarrassed and shocked that something so naughty could excite her so much. “No. I can’t. Oh, God.” She couldn’t stop tightening on him, shaken by her body’s demand for more.

  Crying out as she came again, Charity moved on his cock and the finger he held just inside her, groaning in frustration that she moved so hard, his finger slipped free. Trembling helplessly, she wrapped herself around him, stunned by the vulnerability of being so helpless against her own body’s demands.

  Holding his finger against her most forbidden opening with enough pressure to keep her senses reeling, Beau buried his face against her neck and thrust faster. “Yes, cher. You can. You did, and it was beautiful.” Holding her close, he thrust several more times and stiffened, groaning in her ear. “Yes. God, you feel so good. Every time I take you, it makes me hungry for more.”

  She couldn’t hold back a moan as he circled her puckered opening with his finger, biting her lip against the urge to beg him to keep touching her there.

  Bracing himself on his elbows, he stared down at her, breathing heavily and gorgeously disheveled. “Poor baby. You didn’t want to like that and you did. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It excited me as much as it excited you. You’re a passionate woman, chéri. Don’t be embarrassed about experimenting, or playing—with me.”

  Charity couldn’t look him in the eye. With her face burning, she stared at his chest. “I don’t do things like that.” She couldn’t believe she’d actually had an orgasm with his finger in her ass.

  She couldn’t believe how good it felt, or that she could be so wild.

  She’d never been that sort of woman, and couldn’t get over the change in herself whenever she was with him.

  Chuckling, Beau nuzzled her jaw. “You didn’t do a lot of things until I got you in my bed. There’s a whole lot more to explore, baby.”

  Rolling off of her, he got to his feet and headed for the bathroom. “You worry too much about things, Charity. Just relax and have some fun.” With a wink, he poked his head out. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you.”

  Smiling and shaking her head, Charity stared after him, her smile falling as soon as the door closed behind him. Sitting up, she straightened the tray of paints, putting the lids back on them and gathering the brushes to wash, doing it automatically while struggling to deal with her emotions.

  He knew.

  He knew she loved him.

  He hadn’t said he loved her, too.

  Was it all just a game to him?

  Why did she have to fall in love with someone who never took anything seriously except fun?

  She glanced up when the bathroom door opened, inwardly wincing at the sight of the washcloth in his hand. His increasing demand for intimacy made hiding her feelings even more difficult, but she couldn’t let him see her weakness for him again. “Beau, I can do that myself.”

  Ignoring her protest, Beau took the brushes from her hand and tossed them on to the tray. “I know you can, but this pussy is mine to care for. I like doing this.” Spreading her thighs, he ran the warm cloth over her folds, his gaze holding hers. “Do you remember the night I took your virginity? I cleaned you then. The warm cloth feels good, doesn’t it?”

  Charity bit back a moan at the feel of the warm cloth moving over her delicate flesh. “It’s embarrassing, Beau.”

  Shaking his head, Beau laughed. “Woman, you have the strangest way of looking at things. Despite my best efforts, you’re still too uptight. Do you mean to say that it’s all right if I lick your pussy, fuck your pussy, and use toys in your pussy, but I can’t put a washcloth on it?”

  Her face burned even hotter. “It’s different.”

  Sitting back on his heels, he lifted a brow, a faint smile curving his sensuous lips. “How?”

  Letting her gaze move over him, Charity found herself once again struck by what a beautiful man he was, and had to swallow heavily before speaking.
“Because I’m not…um…aroused when you do this.”

  Beau tapped her chin, grinning as she met his gaze again, “So I can fuck you, stick my finger up your ass, but I can’t wash you?”

  Charity’s bottom clenched. Mortified at the reminder of her weakness, she turned away. “Something like that.”

  Beau grinned, tossed the cloth on to the tray and shoved the entire thing onto the floor. Moving up to lie next to her, he traced a pattern on her belly. “You take things far too seriously.”

  Charity frowned, glancing up at him. “And you don’t take things seriously enough. You’re six years older than I am, and I happen to be the responsible one.”

  Beau tapped her nipple. “You can be responsible and have fun, cher.” Rolling on top of her, he pushed her damp hair back and smiled down at her, his eyes dancing. “I like when you come out to play with me.”

  Sliding her hands through his silky hair, Charity crossed her wrists over each other at the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “I like playing with you.” Frowning, she looked away.

  She knew that Beau considered their lovemaking nothing more than play. She’d gone into this affair with her eyes wide open.

  Still, she couldn’t help but wish for more.

  “Do you?” Leaning slightly over her with his head propped on his hand, Beau cupped her cheek, running his thumb back and forth over her chin. “We could do this all the time, you know.”

  Charity’s heart raced even as her stomach tightened. Forcing a laugh, she lifted her gaze to his. “Then, neither one of us would get any work done.”

  Beau frowned. “You work too hard.”

  “So you keep telling me.” Rolling away from him, she got to her feet. Not seeing any of her clothing, Charity cursed under her breath. Chilled now, but still weak from his lovemaking, Charity started rifling through the covers for her clothing, watching Beau out of the corner of her eye.

  He rolled to his back, not bothering to cover himself, his eyes hard. “The difference between you and me is that I also play hard. Without taking some time to relax and have fun, you’ll kill yourself. I’m not going to let that happen.”

  Distracted by the sight of him stretched out naked on the bed, she pulled the covers back on to the bed, shaking them out as she did. Finding her bra, she quickly put it on, aware of Beau’s sharp gaze. “You play all the time, Beau. You’re a lot like Hope. I don’t know where she gets it. Our parents have always worked their fingers to the bone. That’s how we were raised.”

  She found her pants, but not her panties. Mentally shrugging, she pulled her pants on, seeing her shirt across the room as she did. “I like playing with you, Beau, but a few hours here and there are all I can afford.”

  “If you marry me, cher, we can play every day.”

  She sucked in a breath, her heart pounding furiously. “That’s not funny.”

  She wanted to cry. Swallowing heavily, she continued to dress.

  Beau’s expression hardened, and became distant. “It wasn’t a joke.” With a smile, he held up one of her socks, pulling it back when she lunged for it, dangling it just out of reach.

  Climbing on the bed, Charity lunged again, her temper flaring. “Stop goofing off.” Catching her sock, she yanked it from his grasp, her hands shaking. “Life can’t be all fun and games, you know.”

  Beau’s expression softened, the tension that had been in his eyes gone. “Of course not, beautiful, but we should all make time to play.” Rolling her to her back, he held up her other sock, holding it out of reach. “I want a kiss first.”

  Charity’s stomach knotted at the abrupt change from the man who’d asked her to marry him to the playful lover. Figuring he’d probably just been caught up in the moment, and regretted his impulsive proposal as soon as the words left his mouth, she struggled to appear unaffected. Shrugging, she lifted her face to his, swallowing a sob.

  He touched his lips to hers, nibbling at her bottom lip before tracing it with his tongue. “So sweet.” He deepened his kiss, sliding his tongue against hers in a warm, affectionate kiss that dispelled some of the chill, leaving her fighting to hide her response.

  Lifting his head, he clicked his tongue. “Charity, you’re all tense again.” His eyes sharpened, and he looked as if he wanted to say something, but the tension left his body in a rush, and his expression softened again. “I’ve been trying to teach you how to relax and enjoy life—”

  “How am I doing?” She forced a smile, not wanting to ruin the closeness she felt from their recent lovemaking, especially with him warm and solid on top of her.

  As she’d hoped, Beau grinned, his eyes flashed with what she suspected to be frustration. “You’re a very good student, but I think you need to stay after school.” Brushing her lips with his, he kept his voice low and intimate. “Spend the night with me, cher. I can hold you all night.”

  Charity swallowed heavily, looking away. “You know I can’t do that.”

  She’d already made enough of a fool of herself over him, and she didn’t want anyone to find out. “You promised we could keep this private.”

  Wrapping his arms around her, he nuzzled her neck. “It’s cold outside. Listen to that wind. Wouldn’t you rather spend the night in bed here with me? I’ll keep you nice and warm.”

  Spent and languid, she moved against him, loving the feel of his hard, warm body against hers. The temptation to stay with him got harder to resist each time he asked. “Beau, you know as well as I do that someone would see me leave in the morning and it would be all over town by noon. Mom and the dads would have a fit.”

  Her parents had a ménage marriage, and had always been pretty liberal, a requirement for the residents of Desire, Oklahoma, a town founded primarily for ménage relationships.

  Charity and her older sister, Hope, had been born and raised in Desire, and understood how the overprotective men of Desire thought better than most people.

  Beau lifted a brow. “That wouldn’t be an issue if you agreed to marry me.”

  Charity pushed at him and scrambled from the bed. “Beau, don’t.”

  Beau reclined against the pillows in a deceptively relaxed pose, but his eyes glittered with anger and hurt. “So I’m good to have around for the sex, but that’s it?”

  She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and didn’t want this to end. Worn out after a long day at the club and frustrated that Beau never seemed to take anything seriously, she felt a headache starting as her temper snapped. “Stop playing. I don’t want to do this right now.”

  Beau’s hand whipped out, faster than a snake, and wrapped around her wrist. “I’m not fucking playing. You love me. Don’t even try to deny it. I see it. I feel it.”

  Hating the hurt in his eyes, Charity blew out a breath and dropped to the bed. “Okay. I’ll admit it. I love you.” Glancing at him, she swallowed again at the satisfaction glittering in his eyes. “I’m scared, Beau. I don’t want to rush into anything I’m going to regret.”

  “You think you’d regret marrying me?”

  Getting to her feet, she slipped on her shoes. “Beau, please, let’s not get into this tonight. I’ve got to get up early. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow if we’re going to be ready on time. The grand reopening is two weeks away.”

  Her stomach knotted at his steady look, but she felt too emotionally raw to deal with the subject of marriage with him right now. She was very afraid that they’d end up fighting, and what had become so vital to her would be over. Lifting her gaze to his, she swallowed heavily. “Please.” Her voice cracked, revealing her desperation.

  Beau stared at her for several long seconds, his eyes narrowed, as though considering his options. Finally, his face cleared and he nodded once. “You’re tired. We’ll do this your way tonight, but this weekend, you and I are going to have a talk.”

  He slid from the bed and reached for his jeans. “Wait. I’ll drive you home. You probably walked again so no one would see your car parked here.”

  She
hated the guilt that assailed her. “What we have between us is private, Beau.”

  He pulled a fresh shirt over his head and sat down to pull on his socks. “It pisses me off, you know—the fact that you don’t want to be seen with me.”

  “Damn it, Beau! It’s not like that, and you know it.”

  “Forget it. It’s late. We’ll talk about it later.” After pulling on his shoes, he got to his feet and gripped her upper arm. “But we will talk about this.” With a hand at her back, he walked her down the hall and to the living room. He picked up her jacket from where he’d tossed it over the back of the sofa and held it up for her.

  Wanting to lighten the mood, Charity smiled up at him over her shoulder. “You always start undressing me as soon as I walk through the door.”

  Instead of the teasing smile she’d expected, Beau frowned down at her. “Maybe that’s part of the problem.”

  Charity got a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Look, Beau, I’d better get out of here before one of us says something stupid. I’m tired, and I know I’m not handling this well. You stay here. I’ll walk home by myself. I’ll text you when I get in.”

  “I’ll take you home.”

  “That’s not necessary. It’s not a long walk, and nothing’s going to happen to me on the streets of Desire. Hell, I think Ace is on tonight. I don’t want to run into him.”

  Beau opened the door. “I’ll take you home.”

  “Fine. Do whatever you want to do.” He’d been moody lately, and Beau was never moody. She had a feeling that something was going to come to a head soon and she wasn’t looking forward to it.

  She done something she’d sworn not to do.

  She’d fallen in love with a man who breezed through life without a care, and couldn’t be serious about anything.

  She loved him, and loved their time together. Their nights together were a luxury she allowed herself, a luxury that became more of a necessity every day.

  Walking down the sidewalk, they turned the corner and headed down the street she lived on, in an apartment above her parents’ diner. The streets were quiet except for the music playing in the distance. “It sounds like the bar’s busy.”